The Story...

Now, before I continue will all my thoughts, it can be noticed what this blog is going to be used for. The titles, "Letters to Her...", The Ring on My Necklace", and "Guess Who Read This Blog..." are pretty big hints. So I will explain my situation.

Three years ago I met a beautiful woman that work in the same company as I did, but at a different location. From time to time I would go to the store where she work to help them out. Unfortunately, I vaguely remember the first time we met. I wasn't looking for a relationship or much less friends. I was there to work and get paid. At the time I lived with my cousin and her daughter. I helped her get a job where the beautiful woman worked. However, I had already met this person but didn't really care, again I was there to work. At the time she was only another employee.

My cousin told me that there was a girl worked there and thought I was attractive. So, I thought, "Oh, cool." Not really caring. My cousin invited her over to our apartment on night. She warned me that she was pregnant.

When she came over, I tried to be keep cool. She had just come from work but didn't want to go home. Her and her Mom were having a big argument that week, so she wasn't eager to home. She was very pretty, hair was in a pony tail and had a flower holding it up. It was an artificial flower made into a hair band. She wore light make up, as in not vary much. And she was pregnant, I guess I didn't notice the first couple of intros. As we talked, I got more interested. I was already attracted by her looks, overlooking her pregnancy. She had a "happy-go-lucky" and down to earth personality. I was hooked... She was just being herself, not trying to impress me, at least that's what I think. I am guessing because she was pregnant and not looking for a relationship either.

We were "watching" a movie called Napoleon Dynamite, lame movie. We were mostly talking, then I got some courage. I asked if I could kiss her. She then said, " If you pronounce my name right, you can." The pronunciation of her name was similar to a co-worker from my store. But I took a second chance and said her name correctly. Then we kissed.

We got together on Friday the 13th of January 2006. Fast forwarding several months, her son was already born, he became my son and I became his Daddy. We Married Friday the 13, of October 2006. A year later we had another son. Our first son was born on February 4th, 2006 (02-04-06). Our second son was born on October 15th, 2007 (10-15-07).

In the middle of August of 2008, we had an argument, well I was just being irrational. I was yelling and just being a real jerk about a bottle of raw garnet stones I split and blamed her for. She said "If you are going to be like this then leave." Being that I was furious I said, "Fine since that is was you want. Being that you threaten to divorce me every time we argue..." I got mad and lashed out several times before. So I got a few things an moved out. Two days latter I called her back crying, asking her to forgive me and for me to come back. She said, "Yes." But everything felt different, I was afraid to kiss her or hold her hand. At the same time, she would sit away from me and every time I got the courage to even touch her, she would motion away. A week later, I wrote her a letter asking if she still loved me. That night we decided to separate.

At first I took it really hard, crying and having no control of my emotions. It is still hard, she seems to already moved on. she is on her second relationship, and it seems to really like this guy. I had dated a couple of people, but none of it felt right.

I still love her vary much and will do anything to have her back. Well i wont kill anyone or do something that would have her hate me for any reason. But, the reason for this blog is just to help get my feelings out. There is a lot I am going to write about, and most people's reaction to what I write are: get over it or her, or say no to her.